How to calm your anger with kids

We all at one point of time lost our calm and get angry with kids. Its quite normal that we don’t have same state of mind everytime. We live in a world where most of us are over occupied. So the chances of loosing our patience become very easy.

We are so much involved in our own that sometimes we react very harshly towards our kids if they demand something out of the box at that moment. Though we don’t mean to hurt them but we can’t control our anger.

Why we become angry?

Kids are full of energy with lot of interests and eagerness to know each and every new things. And they expect the same from the people around them. But we adults are overwhelmed with our daily chores and find it difficult to have the same level of energy as of kids to meet their expectations. Very often we failed to meet their eagerness with satisfying answers. And anger is the repercussion of our failure to deal with them in a proper way.

Price we have to pay for being angry

Anger is the instant reaction which we fail to control and repent afterwards. Kids are like sponge, they are very good observers of their surrounding and the actions of people around them, specially their parents. They absorb all the actions very easily. They learn this act of yelling effortlessly, though we strive a lot to make them learn something which we want them to learn. Now kids can reciprocate our act of anger in either of the two ways:

• Kids can also start screaming at the people surrounding them and feel this is normal human behaviour.
• kids may loose their self confidence and will not able to communicate freely with others. They may have the fear of speaking which leads to social anxiety disorder.

Parents are the only source of love, care, food, shelter, safety and everything else for a kid, now when we scream at them they feel lost. They have their back on the wall and no where else to turn. They feel unprotective.

I know writing is pretty easy rather than sticking to them in our life. But If we have the strong desire to achieve something, we will keep moving towards that.

Knowing is not enough; we must apply. Willing is not enough; we must do.

Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

We call ourselves matured adult, now its our time to challenge our maturity and see how much control do we have on our own. We should take small steps to change ourselves and surely the feel of victory will stimulate us more day by day.

Here are few ways to clam our anger

• Prepare yourself

You should make yourself ready that there may not be a conflict free circumstances around you. But you should ready to win the challenge, you are not going into any argument. Try to know when is the triggering time for your kids , when your kid’s nerve are on edge. That is the time you need to compose yourself. Say to yourself : “no matter how hard it hits me I will not drag myself into any conflict.”

• Take a deep breathe

I must say this works for me like a magic. We must agree that sometimes it is very hard to keep ourselves free from showing rage. The moment when you feel livid, start taking a deep breathe and chant whatever makes you calm. I can assure you just after few minutes you will start feeling light and relaxed.

• Ask Yourself

Before giving your reaction just ask yourself : “why am I angry?”. Certainly you will get the answer, that whether the situation demands you to be outraged. Our anger is not a way to enlighten our kids, it will only diminish their self esteem. So try to realize that being rage at the cost of your kid’s self esteem is not a way to change the kids, talk to your kids if they need some behavioural change. There should be positivity in your action.

• Try to forgive

Forgiveness won’t change anything but it will surely develop a healthy relationship between you and your kids. Kids too will learn to forgive. Forgiveness give chance to make new beginnings, without being termed as a bad parent. Forgiveness will get you rid of the burden of guilt which we keep on carrying after our outburst. Then only we can live in peace.

Conclusion

It is said that response comes from the word responsibility, so it is our responsibility to do better as a parent and our response should reflect our thinking process. We should always think on the situation and it should be out of our emotions. The process of thinking only make us much calmer. It stop us from being impulsive. We should always remember we are much matured than our innocent kids, so it our responsibility to show our maturity rather than showing anger to the helpless kids who don’t have rage among them. They learn everything from us.

So mommies pat on your back , you can do everything. Anger is nothing just needs to be managed. And you are amazing in managing. So let’s celebrate our motherhood and maintain a healthy environment for both of us.

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