10 Things You Should Never Say To Your Kids

Parents are human beings and so they make mistakes but we should learn from our mistakes. The huge responsibility of parenthood may burn out and we feel frustrated. But in this journey of parenthood, we have to learn and teach at the same time. Hence we should be very careful of the phrases we are using for our kids. As they have a large impact on their lives. And if you go through this post, I am sure you will realize that the little changes in our construction of words can ease our and our kids’ life to a great extent. As kids are receiving positive affirmations from their parents during their growth that boosts their mental strength for lifelong. So remember these 10 things you should never say to your kids and know what you have to say instead of them.

We should always remember that we have a mature brain and our kids are not fully developed. The things that are easy for us to understand, maybe a brainstorming for them. So we should learn the ways to talk to our children. So that they grow with a strong personality.

You may like to read: How To Understand Your Child’s Personality

So here are the 10 things that we should never say to our children.

1 Stop Crying

It is very normal that kids will cry and there is no wrong with that. And we spontaneously say our kids to stop crying, but we need to change ourselves. We can’t stop kids from crying as it is a way of expressing their emotions. They are too small to express their emotions in words every time, though it is frustrating for parents to see their children crying.

Instead of saying stop crying, ask them the reason behind their crying. This will make them feel comfortable and secured and most likely they will share their emotions with you.

2 Listen To Me

Yes, it is very important for children to listen to their parents as they are not aware of the reactions of their actions. So we have to refrain them from doing wrong and very frequently we use the phrase: listen to me. But this sounds so instructional to them and no one on the earth loves to hear instructions every day.

Instead of saying “listen to me”, tell them “try to understand me or the situation”. This sounds like a suggestion rather than being dictatorial.

You may like to read : Teach Your Child To Read In 10 Simple Steps

3 Why You Did This?

The little kids have enormous energy to explore everything. And during their expeditions, something or the other goes wrong. It is true parents have to deal with their consequences and you often charge them by saying “why you did this?”. But these words of ours does nothing good, it only deteriorates the situation more.

Instead of saying “Why you did this?” ask them “How it happened?”. This will let them speak without any fear or anxiety and you can teach them what went wrong and how to avoid that in the future.

4 Look At Him/Her

No two individuals are alike so how can two kids be the same. We need to think that kids are different from each other and so their growth, habits, taste everything is different. So it is really silly for us to point them to someone and tell them to look at them to compare them with their friends or peer group. It creates pressure among them and that reduces their self-esteem.

Instead of saying “look at him/her” to your kid, you can just use some words to praise the kid and explain his/her effort to your child in a positive way and encourage him too to follow the right path.

5 That Is Only For Boy/Girls

Discriminating kids on a gender basis gives a wrong message to kids, this leads to the poor foundation of our society. If you distinguish activities on the basis of sex, kids too start believing that they don’t have enough potential for some activities. And hence they limit their strength unknowingly.

Instead of saying “that is only for boys/girls” we should encourage our kids to do every activity without depending on their gender and raised them in a gender-free environment. BelieveEarth had an article published about how education against stereotypes and discrimination begins in early childhood.

6 Because I Said So

This is the most common phrase used by parents and I am no exception to this but as I said we need to learn so many things during parenthood. Children should do according to their parents as they are not matured enough to make their own decisions. But they have also the right to know why they are doing so and so. Because later on, they need to take their own decision. And when we instruct them to do something without explaining the reason behind that they feel they don’t have any choice of their own and have to lead life according to their parents.

Instead of saying “because I said so” you can use, “I guess this may not work, you can try this” and if possible you can explain the reason. This will make them feel like grown up and they will surely understand their parents.

7 We Can’t Buy This For You

Kids know nothing about money and its value and whatever attracts their eyes they want to own that thing. But it is not possible for parents to provide each and everything that their child demands. When we directly disapprove of their demand and say, “we can’t buy this for you”, they are heartbroken. They don’t know about the financial pressure of their parents and so can’t find any reason behind their no, it has a negative impact on them.

Instead of saying “we can’t buy this for you”, try to explain to them that we need to save for some bigger things in life. Try to teach them about priorities and assure them you will give them a gift during their next special occasion.

You may like to read : Essential Life Skills You Should Teach Your Kids

8 Set Example For Your Brother/Sister

Parents want their children to be friendly and sometimes unknowingly we give them pressure. Older kids are often told by their parents to behave properly so that they can set example for their younger ones. But this may cause sibling rivalry among the kids.

Instead of saying ” set example for your brother/sister”, tell them that they play a very important role in their younger brother/sister ‘s life. So they are the role model for their younger siblings.

9 You are selfish

Parents are responsible to shape their child’s future and their few words stick to their child’s memory for life long. So rather than making it trauma, we should create memories for them to cherish. If a child is not sharing their toys to other child, it is very natural. We can’t label them as selfish due to this. Just calling them selfish will make them feel they are bad and they start feeling ashamed of themselves.

Instead of saying “you are selfish”, teach your children to be kind and compassionate with others by sharing them why we should share and help others.

10 You Can’t Do This

When we say our children they can’t do something, we make them feel incapable and their parents don’t have faith on them to do. Being a parent we understand that every task is not possible for them to do as a child and very casually we say them, “you can’t do this”. We should avoid saying them otherwise it will loose their confidence and they will be afraid to take new challenges in life.

Instead of saying “you can’t do this”, try saying, ” You can try but if you need I can help you”. To learn something they must go through trial and error process and so give them chance to do as long as they are not harming themselves.

Being a parent, it is our responsibility to nurture our kids in a way that they grow as a good human being at the same time they should be loved, feel secured during their childhood. And above all they should not be deprive of all the fun of childhood days.

What are the other things that you think we should never say to our children? Do share them here in the comments below.