Self Regulation In Preschoolers : Activities And More

Self regulation in preschoolers is very important to develop. Today in this blog post, I will be sharing everything about self regulation. Have you ever felt like screaming or crying loudly in public? Yes, many times we are so much annoyed or disturbed that we feel like crying or screaming. But actually we don’t do that as we being adult, know to control our emotions. It happens that we are standing in the queue for a long time and just when one person is left before us the billing counter closes. And we are requested to join the next queue. This scenario mostly happens when we are running late or too tired to stand in the queue. How do you feel at that moment? Very obvious we feel like banging on the counter and shout on that guy. But we are aware that this is not the way to respond.

Now when your 2 year old cries loudly, you may feel irritated and become angry. The little child does not cry to annoy you. It is just their meltdowns, when they don’t know how to control their emotions. They start depend on someone else to help them to regulate their emotions. And this is the time we should think about their problem before showing our reactions. keeping this in mind parent should teach self regulation strategies to their preschoolers.

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What is Self Regulation?

Self regulation means power to regulate yourself. In simple terms it can be define as one’s ability to control ones emotions, thought and know the way to behave during all thick and thin situations. Self regulation among adults refer to the power to control their impulses. It doesn’t mean to hide your emotions and live an emotionless life. But it is the way to deal with your emotions in right way at right time and right place. A person who can regulate his/her emotions tends to be highly thoughtful and avoid conflicts in his/her life. Self regulated persons are responsible of their actions and words. It helps an adult to calm down without out bursting towards a stimuli. Self regulation is one of the five components of Emotional Intelligence.

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Why is Self Regulation important in early childhood?

We cannot expect same behavior from a 3 year old and an 8 year old kid. They both have different sets of skill according to their age. A 2-3 year old kid can start crying or screaming at any place but this kind of behavior is not expected from an 8 year old child. As they need to learn the skill of regulating their emotions and not to be hyper to every stimuli. And to achieve this it is very essential to teach self regulation during children’s early age.

The early they learn to manage their emotions the more calm and relaxed they can be during later years of their life. The early they learn self regulation, the less chances of meltdowns will be there. And kids will know better way to express their emotions. As children are exposed to the world, there will be a lot of situations that will trigger their emotions. But children who have learn the skill of self regulation have the ability to deal with those triggered situation in a very smooth way.

How to develop Self Regulation in preschoolers?

Now we know self regulation is the ability to control our behavior and reactions. Self regulation develops among babies since birth. As babies suck their thumbs to sooth themselves. Preschoolers also start understanding that they are expected to behave in a certain way. But this is the time when parents should help them to develop self regulation. Preschoolers learn a lot from their parent child relationship. Children can develop self regulation by observing their parents around him. So be a responsible parent and do what you expect your child to do.

There are ways that can help you to develop self regulation in preschoolers:-

• Show Empathy When children show restless behavior, don’t try to speak to them or don’t give any instructions to behave properly. As they are not in state of understanding your instructions or logic. It hurts both of you. So show empathy to them, try to sooth them. And once they cool down, explain them what they should do and what not.

• Give A Gentle Reminder You can expect which situations can be tough for your child or when your child will find it difficult to control their behavior. So get ready for those scenario. For example you are going to buy any toy for your friend’s child and you don’t have any plan to buy toy for your child. And you have to take your child to the toy shop. So tell them lovingly before going that you are going to buy gift for your friend. Tell them the importance of sharing and caring. There is happiness in giving too. If possible show them short moral stories of sharing and caring. And before entering the shop also remind them about joy of giving.

• Observe Child’s Routine Excessive loads of daily activities may make children cranky and they start throwing tantrums without any reasons. They don’t know how to cope with their pressure and screaming or crying is their way of showing their expressions. So it is better not to give unnecessary loads on your child. Observe their routine and set it according to their age and strength.

• Set Realistic Expectations Don’t expect too much from your child. Children are very much sensitive but they are not aware of expressing their emotions. And when they fail to meet their parent’s expectations they feel bad and not able to control their emotions and show some unwanted behavior. And this make feel everyone that they are misbehaved children. So set realistic expectations. Don’t demand too much from your child that is out of their reach. As each children have their own strength and capabilities according to their age.

• Stay Calm And Love Them When children show reactions that are not wanted, then talking to them will be of no use. As they are not in the state of understanding any logic or reasons. So stay calm, maintain your sanity and understand the root cause of their behavior. Embrace them, show your love and learn them to be self aware of their behavior.

4 Self Regulation Skills

There are four self regulation skills that everyone should practice. And if taught to children in their early childhood, these will help them to lead a well balanced life. They can manage their emotions and thoughts like a pro.

• Self Awareness

Being self aware help us to take right decisions during tough times. It is not any carried away decision for which we may have to regret later.

• Set a Goal

To achieve success in life it is very important to set a goal and work according to that. But this habit of setting a goal cannot be achieve in a day. Later in life we need to set long term goals and many people get diverted and they feel demotivated and failed to regulate their emotions at that time. So it is necessary to teach preschoolers about goal setting. Introducing them about short term goal setting and motivate them to reach each milestones. And it is also necessary to teach them its okay to fail, just you need to give extra effort.

• Mindfulness

Practicing mindfulness helps little children to pay their full focus on the present task without running their mind everywhere else. It increases their concentration power. Mindfulness help young children to gain control over their thoughts. It reduces the stress and anxiety among children.

• Self Reflection

Self reflection is one major part of self regulation skills. When a person sets goal and by somehow if he/she failed to meet the goal. He should know the skill of self-monitoring. One should try to find where is the lacking point rather than quitting or feeling demotivated. Therefore little preschoolers should learn to do self-reflection. They should try to pen down their thoughts and how they feel. This can surely help to develop self regulation in preschoolers and will be benefited later in life.

Self Regulation Activities For Preschoolers

Age range between 3 to 6 is very vital to develop self regulations. It will be helpful to practice these following activities for preschoolers in home and school both.

Brain Break

Brain break is a technique where break are given to kids for a short time at regular intervals. This allow their brain to focus more. When kids come back to the activity after short interval of time, they can focus more to the activity. This technique helps kids to use their enormous energy in a proper way and increase their concentration. Here are some amazing brain games for kids to practice.

Slow Down

Slowing down children’s pace while they are engage in any activity helps them to think deeply and realize their emotions properly. They can be more mindful through slow down practice. They can explore things more properly.

Finding Solutions To Simple Problems

It is good to help children but sometimes it is better to let them solve their own problems. It is one of the important skills that children should learn so that they never become weak to face the problems. If children don’t get scope to solve their problems and when they are exposed to the world, no doubt world will not be so sweet to them. And they feel lost and start suffering from depressions and not able to control their emotions.

Deep Breathing

Encourage children to take deep breathe when they feel anxious or can’t able to handle their emotions. Deep breathing help children to calm down and give time to sooth restlessness. So practicing deep breathing is one of the best strategy to develop self regulation in preschoolers.

Pretend Play

Pretend play is one of the most enjoyable play for the preschoolers. They play it often and acts as someone else, live in different situations. This pretend play help them to learn how to deal with others and different situations. They pretend to explore various emotions like happy, sad, anger, distress that they need to face in the real world. And they act according to the situation of the play. This gives an idea of how to react to these situations in real.

Describe Feelings

Encourage children to express their feelings. Teach them to communicate with others about how they feel. When they start leaning the new words like happy, sad, anger, eager etc, tell them to use the words and describe their feelings. Or you can instruct them to choose any emoji about how they are feeling and communicate why they are feeling like that. This will not only keep them calm but will also be successfully regulate their emotions in right way even during stress times.

Self Regulation Fun Games For Preschoolers

Games for kids are not only to keep them engage. There are various games that play vital role in developing different skills in kids. Here are few fun games that will develop self regulation in children. As they become familiar with these games they learn to manage their emotions. They can understand loosing somethings doesn’t means it is the end, there are more fun ways to start again.

Simon Says

In this game one person is Simon who give instructions to other kids. Like Simon says touch your knees. And kids have to do what Simon says. This way kids learn to follow other people’s instruction.

Freeze Game

In this game kids keep on moving on the beat of music and they are told they have to freeze when the music stops. And if someone moves during that time, that kid will be eliminated from the game.

Musical Chair

In this game there will be one less chair than the number of players. Kids have to keep moving around the chairs while the music keeps on playing. And when the music stops, kids have to grab a chair and sit on it. The child who can’t grab a chair will be eliminated from the game. These games help children to learn how to play altogether and control their impulses.

Traffic Lights

There will be a cop in this game, and when he will shout, “Green Green”, Kids will move/run. And when the cop shouts, “Red, Red”, kids have to stop moving. If anyone caught moving during red he will be eliminated from the game.

Clapping Pattern

In this game, there will be a particular pattern of clapping and kids have to observe that carefully and have to clap like that pattern.

Jenga

Jenga requires lot of planning and concentration that helps kids to learn self control. Little lack of attention and balance, the tower will fall, so kids learn how to slow down and focus on the present.

Conclusion

Kids are very impulsive and have enormous energy in them. So it is important to teach kids to control their impulsive nature and manage their emotions. Therefore to have a great start for your preschoolers teach them self control and act the way as the situation demands. Self regulation in preschoolers will be beneficial for them in long run. They can have a good social, emotional and mental life.

Happy Parenting!!