Parenting is something that never comes with manual. And like children learn something each day from their day one, a parent too experiences so many things in their parenting journey. And parents too make mistakes while parenting their kids. Sometimes they are not aware of their mistakes and consequences. But kids have to suffer for their parent’s mistakes. A child’s behavior depends a lot on how their parents interact with them. Here are the 5 biggest parenting mistakes we should avoid. Mistakes are inevitable but both parents and kids should learn from their experiences.
The Common Parenting Mistakes To Avoid
1) Offering excessive help to your child
A child will always remain a child in-front of their parents but that doesn’t mean that a parent should overindulge or offer excessive help to their child. Let them grow freely, they need to learn everything. And once you offer help at every step of their life, in-fact sometimes that will be no help to the kids. It will steal their capabilities to do on own. It is not that a parent does this intentionally but its hard for them to stop. A parent knows that kids are able to do few chores still they will not allow their child to do them. They will think it will be time consuming if a child does certain activity. A child knows how to button their shirt but when a mom does that for him, the child also don’t feel the need to do that by himself. But in this way the child is lagging behind, he will not be able to learn the basic life skills.
Being very anxious for kids, parents start doing too much for their kids. But this parenting strategy is not at all good. So next time when you feel this, take a step back. Teach them how to do and let them do by themselves. This behavior of parents will help their children to grow independently.
2) Comparing your child with other children
This is one of the most common parenting mistakes to avoid and it is often done by parents unknowingly. Each child is different and they grow according to their own pace. This is very simple but sometimes it becomes very hard for parents to understand. The desire of parents to see their child achieving everything makes them act like immature. And they can’t see their child failing and they start comparing their child with other children. The comparing attitude of parents can weaken a child’s mental health. The child will underestimate their own strength and will loose their faith on themselves.
It happens when we wish something for our children but may be they don’t have interest on that. And hence they may not perform well. But to fulfill the hidden desire, parents start putting pressure on children and compare them with others. Being a parent we should try to realize that no person on this earth can do everything. We should always be aware of our children’s desires and interests. Yes, it is responsibility of a parent to show right track to their children. But give them the freedom to grow and develop according to their own momentum.
3) Expecting Child To Be Perfect
No individual is perfect on this earth so how can someone expect a little child to be perfect. It is very unrealistic to expect a child to be perfect. Parent’s expectations for their children to be perfect creates a huge burden on them. They feel a pressure to meet their parents expectations. And the result of this enormous pressure can be harmful. Unrealistic expectations always lead to failure and depression. Sometimes it may happen a child keep pushing hard to fulfill and meet his parent’s expectation. And in this struggle they forget to live their own life.
Hence it becomes hard for a child to recognize his own purpose of life. They start feeling like if they can be perfect for their parents then only they will be loved. This sense of conditional love make them feel alone and sad. In simple words perfectionism doesn’t make your child to do better. Instead cheer them up to do their best. Motivate them to try hard without thinking about the result.
4) Lack Of Attention Towards Your Child
No doubt everyone is busy today. The world has become so small for everyone still people feel it difficult to find time for each other. It is sad to say love is so materialistic these days. And children are suffering the most in this hustle bustle of their parent’s life. Lack of parent’s attention and love can make a child emotionally weak. Kids are very expressive but when they don’t get anyone around them to express their feelings they feel insecure and weak. Positive attention towards children help them to develop stronger relationship with their parents. The love and warmth children receive from their parents boosts their self-esteem and confidence.
Materialistic gifts can make children happy for few moments but when you spend time with them, that will be a gift for life long. They will learn to value and respect relationship. The time a parent spend for their children will be the most treasured memory for their child. So try to spend as much time as possible for your child. And this will give you a chance to relive your childhood too.
5) Saying Yes To Everything
Saying no to a child is hard for parent but that doesn’t signifies you have to accept their every demand. Kids are not aware of their requests, they simply ask whatever they want to have. But it is parents responsibility to set boundaries and limits in a healthy way. When a child grow up within a positive boundary set up by his parents, he learn the value of the things he get. He respects everything he have in his life. And if there are no limits set for children, they will grow up as an arrogant human being with a feeling that the world revolves around them. It is not necessary to say no to child as there are many other ways too to set limits in a positive way.
Conclusion
The purpose of this post is not to blame parents. A parent is a person behind a child’s growth and success. There is no unique style of parenting that will be applicable for all kinds of kids. So parenting is a journey without knowing the exact map but we know the destination. And a parent and a child’s healthy relationship can make the journey memorable. It is just that children are great imitators so give them some good to imitate.
“Parents don’t make mistakes because they don’t care, but because they care so deeply”
— T Berry Brazelton
Comments
Yes to all of these! It isn’t easy, and we aren’t perfect parents either. But it needs to be done. I think the last one, saying no, has got to be the hardest sometimes but it also helps them learn boundaries.
Saying yes to everything leads to spoiled children, but saying no to everything leads to children who feel deprived. I think there’s always a balance to walk in parenting just like everything else. I really like this one.
Perfect! This is the ultimate compilation every child would love their parent or parents to see, read and internalise! If I were that child, I would simply withdraw away from my parents.
I think comparing your child to others is one of the biggest mistakes that we can do as a parent. This is a great post to read thanks for sharing this with us
The ones I am most guilty of is offering help and saying yes too frequently. I’m getting better, though. I have said no much more frequently now that my two girls are in high school.
Comparison is so important to talk about. Sharing this post with my friends who have littles!
We parents sometimes make mistakes. I did some of these but yeah they don’t do good to our kids, especially comparing them to other kids.
I sometimes struggle with the last two. I’ve noticed that when my kids act out what they really need is more of time and attention. I also give in way too easily.
Ya, those are definitely hard. Mine is always trying to get me to help and be lazy.
Great to know about the parents mistakes to avoid them. Parenting is not easy task to do.
Such an eyeopener. I am a mother and I know parents don’t intend too but mistakes just happen. Parenting is not easy but roller coaster ride and I am sure things will improve.
Such great and amazing ideas! I have a 10 year old and these tips will be handy! Thanks for sharing this with us!
Allowing our children to try and fail is the greatest gift that we can give to them